elusiveat's Journal
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
elusiveat's LiveJournal:
[ << Previous 20 ]
| Friday, May 1st, 2020 | | 12:01 am |
| | Sunday, May 11th, 2008 | | 11:37 pm |
Seeing things: tracks and chess
I've recently started a couple of games of online chess. I'm getting beaten badly. Basically I know just enough strategy to beat someone who knows little more than the rules. But people who know little more than the rules tend not to play chess.
But one thing that I've always been able to do is to clearly visualize the portions of the board attacked by a rook or queen. I can do knights as well, but only if I think about it. Knights have been my downfall in my recent games.
I don't think about the attacked squares systematically. I see them. The relevant portions of the board seem to sort of shimmer. It's an interesting cognitive effect. If I play around, I can get squares to shimmer differently, according to patterns that have nothing to do with the rules of chess.
What's really weird, though, is how strongly this shimmering reminds me of the shimmering of human or animal tracks, when I've been able to see them. I've tended to assume that the shimmering of tracks is due to an actual irregularity in the visual field. But the shimmering of attacked squares on the chessboard has no explanation other than that I know they are there.
I wonder if part (and if so, how much) of the ability to see tracks is simply knowing where they are supposed to be. | | Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 | | 4:28 pm |
| | Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 | | 5:24 pm |
[friends] informed refusal I went to the eye doctor today. It was the first time I'd gone in something like 10 years. When I was a kid, I had an eye doctor that I really liked, named Dr. Guyton. He had a great sense of humor, and a pretty laid back attitude toward treating patients, specifically recommending against invasive procedures if he felt they were unnecessary. Going to the eye doctor was kind of fun. You got to look at interesting things and talk about them. I didn't so much like the glaucoma test, where they puffed air in your eye, but the rest was neutral or pleasant. Sometime around when I was college aged, Dr. Guyton retired. I went to the same office with my mother for us each to get a checkup with doctor who had replaced him. ( That appointment did not go well. ) My father seems to understand my emotions on this issue a bit better, and sat down with me later that evening. He said that he wanted to make sure that I understood: I always have the right to refuse treatment. No, I hadn't understood. No one had ever told me that. It was like having a tether cut. I was given control over my life. Still, it's taken this long for me to go back to an eye doctor. The impetus was concern that I might have damaged my eyes by some irresponsible behavior as a child. I wanted someone to look at my retina. I understood that this would likely require pupil dilation. I wasn't enthusiastic about the prospect, but was ready to accept it as a necessary protocol if it would increase the chance of catching long term damage sooner and potentially increasing the chance of successful treatment. Coming up on the appointment, I was pretty anxious, and decided to have Tufts Health Services phone the doctor ahead of time, to let them know about my history of fainting (I traumatized them pretty badly when I fainted after a blood test), and that I strongly prefer non-interventionist approaches, and to maintain control over my treatment. ( What happened at the eye doctor. )*** My relief was tremendous, and the tests that the doctor did was very quick, and totally painless (except for needing to deal with the bright light in my eyes). The glaucoma test consisted of her lightly touching my closed eyelids, for about a second each. After she looked at my retinas, she said that she didn't see any sign of damage at all, which was also a huge relief. But, in addition to relief I feel a certain amount of anger that I needed to be as stubborn as I was in order to get the least invasive treatment possible. It's great to know that I always have the choice of refusing treatment, but it blows my mind the lengths that are generally needed in order to get the least invasive treatment possible, and even to find out that less invasive procedures are available. The examples I'm talking about are pretty non-invasive to begin with, but I have to assume that the same protocols exist throughout the hierarchy of treatments, in terms of not informing patients of options. For me, that's a very scary thought. | | 4:58 pm |
Surrender
Last weekend I went for a walk in the woods of the Southern Mid-Atlantic with Squirrelitude. We went barefoot. We went slowly.
On the other side of the woods was a half-grown meadow, with lush green grasses, maybe 2 feet tall. "Prime tick habitat," I remarked.
"That's what shorts are for," he answered.
I couldn't argue. More clothing might mean more protection, but ultimately we'd need to do a thorough tick check either way. More clothing also would mean more surfaces to check. We entered the grasses without any further precautionary measure, and 15 minutes later we were sprawled out in the grass.
It was then that I mentioned the idea of surrender. Of simply accepting risks, and working within those parameters, rather than armoring ourselves against all the known hazards. Shorts in spite of ticks. Lying in the grass. Bare feet in spite of thornbushes. Ultimately, we were happier.
I experienced something similar in the Fells a few weeks back. I bicycled there in Birkenstocks. Shortly after locking up my bicycle, I caught my foot on a sharp branch, which hurt quite a bit, and which I attributed to the obliviousness that comes with wearing shoes. I took my sandals off, and locked them to the bicycle. Then began my wander. I climbed over rocks up toward the fire tower. This was easier on bare feet than the gravel trail would have been, but also meant I passed through the fields of broken glass left among the rocks by late night picnickers.
Broken glass is commonly cited as a reason for not going barefoot. Actually being there, though, I found I didn't feel any fear. I had the luxury of going slowly, and I knew that if I started to step on anything sharp, I could simply not complete the step.
A couple of weeks later I was back in the same area with Xuth. We bicycled up the gravel trail to the tower, it was cold, and I was consequently wearing my sandals again, this time with heavy socks as well. The same broken glass that had seemed irrelevant before was now terrifying. With shoes on, I wouldn't know what I was stepping on until I'd committed my weight.
I think of surrender as accepting the risks of daily life, rather than continually fighting them. Working to respond to your environment, rather than striving to surround yourself with total safety. A component, too, has to do with the evaluation of risk: weighing the costs of protection against the risks themselves.
This sort of issue comes up all the time: self-defense (don't walk alone at night? don't walk alone at all?), food supply (pasteurize everything?), medical treatment (exploratory surgery? antibiotics just in case?). At the same time, healthcare at a societal level is frequently approached as though if we could just find a few more cures, people would live forever. That's just not the way it works. There are inherent dangers to living a fulfilling life, and sooner or later death will catch up with you. I don't understand why our culture fights so hard against surrender and acceptance of everyday risks. | | Monday, April 28th, 2008 | | 2:43 am |
Poll: Social impact of gender perception This poll posted (with slight modifications) at the request/suggestion of Emp42ress. Please respond to the best of your ability from your own experiences. Poll #1179156 gender perception
Open to: All, results viewable to: FriendsWhen I am perceived as a woman: When I am perceived as a man: When I am perceived as a androgynous or gender-neutral: | | Friday, April 25th, 2008 | | 2:04 pm |
How to win friends and influence people? (random thoughts)
This week I'm noticing that certain acquaintances have a strong tendency to point out the positive, and to generally tell everyone: "Here's how you're awesome." In general these are people that I like, but not people that I would ever be best friends with.
I wonder a bit about how much of this is innate, and how much of it is learned. It's certainly akin to the recommendations of _How to Win Friends..._ and similar works, but I kind of suspect that the reason I see these behaviors is that they are simply more natural for these individuals. I'd like to more concretely know which way it is, but I don't know that I could determine that without asking. And if I ask, I'm not sure that I'd get a straight answer.
On certain levels I'm inclined to emulate the behavior, but I question the degree to which it would work for me, even if it works for them (which it may or may not do). It certainly is not my natural pattern, and what comes across as sincere enthusiasm from one person might feel more like manipulative flattery from another.
There's more complexity to this issue as well. Some people tend to find chipperness abrasive, and it may be the case that most people like different approaches at different times and would appreciate having a diversity of outlooks. By asking an opinion of the correct person, you can assure yourself of the type of feedback you'd like (positive or negative, sincere or less so, instinctive or dispassionate).
Perhaps the best approach is to play to one's own comparative advantage. | | Thursday, April 24th, 2008 | | 5:52 pm |
Random observations on my recent religion polls/discussions 1) Distribution of poll responses for the 10 people (other than myself) who responded to my "religion rant" as compared to the overall distributions for each question. Evidently the responders are a more representative sample of the people on my friends list than I'd initially perceived. I'd expected a stronger non-theist skew.
| Category | Initial commenters Poll 1 | Initial commenters Poll 2 Q1 | Initial commenters Poll 2 Q2 | Total Poll 1 | Total Poll 2 Q1 | Total Poll 2 Q1 |
| Pagan | 0 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 11 | 8 |
| Christian | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 1 |
| Muslim | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Animist | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 4 |
| Hindu | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Jewish | 1 | 1 (+1 inherited) | 1 | 5 | 8 | 4 |
| Atheist | 3 | 2 (+ 2 inherited from poll 1) | 1 | 11 | 14 | 11 |
| Buddhist | 1 | 1 (+1 inherited from poll 1) | 0 | 3 | 4 | 2 |
| Agnostic | 2 | 1 (+2 inherited from poll 1) | 0 | 11 | 12 | 9 |
| Pantheist | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 |
| Taoist | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 4 |
| Satanist | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 1 |
| Bokononist | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 3 |
| Discordian | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 5 |
| Church of Subgenius | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 2 |
| Church of Friendship | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 2 |
0| Willful abstention | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 3 |
| Mu | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 6 |
| Nu | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 6 |
| Tickybox x1 | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 5 |
| Tickybox x2 | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 1 |
| Tickybox x3 | n/a | n/a | 1 | | | 6 |
| Other | n/a | n/a | 0 | | | 6 |
| No Data | 2 | 8 | 7 | | | |
2) Why is it that people of multiple religions are willing to claim just about any religion other than Islam? 3) Jewish Pagans (or perhaps Pagan Jews)? Evidently there are two who responded to the polls. Interesting stuff. Hadn't heard of that combo before. | | 11:28 am |
open source symbolic algebra Oh, this makes me happy: http://sagemath.org/Particularly happy is the notion of SymPy. Now I just need a computer on which to to install it. O _ O I think I may have passed a point of no return with regard to my science dorkness. | | Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 | | 4:28 pm |
Poll: assertions made in the previous threads on religion (etc.) Some of it serious, some of it silly. My secret goal is to know where people stand on the atheism as a religion issue. If the poll isn't your style feel free to respond to that question in comments. ( Poll cut for sheer excess. ) | | 4:20 pm |
Poll #1175956 religion 2
Open to: All, results viewable to: FriendsMix 'n' match: Which of the folllowing best characterizes your religious identification? Pandering to the disgruntled: knock yourselves out. | | 11:01 am |
| | Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 | | 3:08 pm |
Poll: religion Now I'm curious. One question. One choice. If I failed to include your preferred religion, or you want to elaborate, please do so in comments. Poll #1175405 Religion
Open to: All, results viewable to: FriendsWhich of the folllowing best characterizes your religious identification? | | 10:57 am |
polygamy fashion (if it's on CNN it must be news) Fashion analysis of the way women dress in Mormon polygamy compound that's evidently been making news. http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/22/polygamy.fashion.ap/index.html'John Llewellyn, a polygamy expert and retired Salt Lake County sheriff's lieutenant, says the women cover themselves "so that they're unattractive to the outside world or other men."' So maybe I spend too much time with anachronists, but when I look at those dresses and hairdos, I might see "conservative" or "modest", but the word "unattractive" really doesn't jump to mind at all. And then it occurs to me how bizarre it is that they felt the need to include an article on this at all. Humans are weird. | | Monday, April 21st, 2008 | | 2:54 pm |
A brief rant about religion. I don't understand religion. What is there, is there. Sun, water, earth, life, fire, music, emotions, ideas. Real, undeniable, precious. You don't need to be Pagan to know that these things are holy. You don't need to be Christian to know that compassion is better than cruelty. You don't need to be Muslim to know that the universe one thing, vast and unknowable. You don't need to be Animist to know that small things have value. You don't need to be Hindu to know that existence is cyclic. You don't need to be Jewish to remember where you came from. You don't need to be Atheist to know that common drives unite all life. You don't need to be Buddhist to acknowledge mortality. Why do we argue? Current Mood:  frustrated | | Monday, March 31st, 2008 | | 8:33 pm |
| | Wednesday, March 26th, 2008 | | 6:03 pm |
local hardware store?
Can anybody recommend a good locally owned hardware store in the Cambridge/Somerville area?
I need a needle-valve. | | Tuesday, March 18th, 2008 | | 1:52 pm |
| | Friday, March 14th, 2008 | | 12:25 pm |
| | Tuesday, March 11th, 2008 | | 2:01 pm |
Stratfor: Strategic Forecasting For those of you whose response to my poll was "huh?": http://www.stratfor.com/I've been listening to their free podcasts. My feelings are somewhat mixed, but I will say that it's a pretty distinctive angle on global news. |
[ << Previous 20 ]
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
elusiveat's journal
1 (4.8%)